When Everyone Wants to Be Negative, Be a Positive Parent
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When Everyone Wants to Be Negative, Be a Positive Parent

When Everyone Wants to Be Negative, Be a Positive Parent

Parenting | May 31, 2021
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With over a year of quarantine, tensions are at an all-time high. Parents, here’s how to stay sane, safe, and harmonious even at home.

We all are feeling it: Pandemic Fatigue. We all thought it will be ending after one year of confinement—only to be faced with new challenges. The silver lining, however, is that some of the vaccines have finally arrived.  But I’m guessing, that the supply for 2021 will be on limited mode.

With that, mental health has now become an issue. Relationships between family members are getting strained. Thus the burning question: what can we do to maintain harmony at home?

Parents, Choose Love

I am currently reading Marianne Williamson’s best-selling novel, A Return to Love.  It’s her reflection of another best-selling book I have yet to read: The Course in Miracles. Although it uses a very Catholic language, she was able to explain, that “God is love and love is God”—a universal concept that transcends whatever religion you believe in.  

Love is an action, mindset, and place. For parents, choosing love as a mindset gives us rose-colored glasses when we see our children.  Instead of seeing their actions with eyes of criticism, we should see them with understanding and with genuine care to help them grow.

Being with us 24/7 is enough to drive our kids and spouses crazy. Imagine if it includes criticism 24/7. That will only lead to isolation and depression.

Choose to Be Happy Than to Be Right

I attended the Landmark Forum before and this is my key takeaway.  Sometimes, we suffer from unhappiness and flourish in anger—just to be right. But what does being right mean? Does it mean that we’re always superior? Do the kids always have to lose? When did parenting or marriage become a game show? For me, no one should keep score. 

Choosing to be happy is a step towards acceptance. No human being is perfect, therefore we all make mistakes.  Instead of drilling how great your arguments are, accept that some things are not what you expected. And be open to the possibilities from there.

If feelings were hurt, then explain without judgment. How? Be accountable for your feelings. Instead of saying “you did this and it’s wrong,” say “I felt (feelings) when this (event, no mention of the doer of the action), I hope (recommended action for the future to not repeat the situation)”.

Prioritize Fun and Be Their Parent and Friend

Because of the restrictions on socializing and humans being social beings by nature, everyone is feeling the pinch—including your kids. They also crave talking and playing with their classmates. And sometimes, those Zoom parties just don’t cut it.

Taking time to talk to your kids about their interests and what they like doing for fun should be part of your weekly agenda. Since there are no sports meets to go to, try playing video games with them. You can even organize tea parties to fill in the gaps.

I am lucky to have 5 kids, even though their ages are spaced far apart—from 21 to a 6-year-old. And even so, we ask everyone to cooperate when playing games together. They will have Among Us sessions, while karaoke and making pizza have become our socializing events.

Teach Gratitude and Purpose

How do you keep everyone hopeful after one year? How do you stop the negativity from flourishing nowadays? Start with having a gratitude journal and cascade this to your kids. You can even have a thank you round before meals or a gratitude board with family.

One of the things that usually hinder me from doing things is the desire to make it perfect. So in short, I’m a procrastinator. But I realized that if I keep thinking this way, nothing will happen.

My words of advice? Just do it and make the most out of it, too.  Don’t overthink. Just do.

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An entrepreneur, mother of five, wife, writer and women empowerment advocate. Jeanette Ipapo-Tuason aims to share her learnings to help individuals achieve their best life.
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