In the journey to self-love and acceptance, G3 San Diego shares why coming out is a celebration of your true, authentic self.
I cannot count how many people have come out to me over the years. It’s always a very emotional encounter. For someone to trust you with their secret is such a privilege and each coming-out story is the same and yet unique in their own way. Its similarity is that is the truth rising to the surface that you can no longer hold back, while the differences are the reasons for holding it back for however long it did.
Of course, I hope for the day when coming out won’t be a “thing” anymore—that it will simply be something people automatically accept about a person. But until that happens, these stories need to be told because so many are still very scared of not being accepted for their true, authentic self.
My Coming Out Story
I never had to come out to my family or peers; it was particularly obvious in my case. I was always effeminate growing up and the trips to the psychiatrist at 7 years old, in hindsight, were completely unnecessary to tell you who I really was. But growing up in the 90s, the terms were not yet clearly defined. So I grew up believing that I was gay.
As I grew older, the inexplicable feeling of not feeling like I’m in my own body was deeply unsettling. So transitioning at 16 seemed like the only course for me to survive as myself. And as I did that, I felt more like me. I felt life was only starting to begin. I found acceptance as a woman and I lived that way for many years until I was given an opportunity to come out as a transwoman through a fashion editorial.
That was my official coming out, not as a gay boy—not as a cisgender woman, but as a transwoman. And this has been my truth since.
It was a very painful journey, to say the least. Acceptance was scarce and rejection came on a daily basis. But if that was the price to pay to be truly honest about who I was, then I am at peace with it all.
Mond Guttierez and Alex Diaz: Their Coming Out Stories
Over the past month, I was given the privilege to write the coming out stories of two very prominent and notable personalities in entertainment—Mond Guttierez and Alex Diaz. It was a two-part feature—with Mond, officially coming out for the first time on the August issue of Mega Entertainment, and, Alex Diaz coming out properly—for the second time—in the September issue of MegaStyle.
Both are very dear friends and I’ve known about them for quite a while. But the thing about coming out stories is that the control of the narrative belongs to the person coming out, and nobody else.
Of Prejudice and Judgment
In these times, coming out is not as easy as it sounds. Mond experienced prejudice and judgment even before he figured out who he was, while Alex was outed before he was even ready to tell his family about himself.
“Growing up, it was hard for me to even acknowledge who I am. Like, what is this, you know? I had my brother who was so similar to me but so different in so many ways. But he never had to explain his sexuality, so why should I? And that was my thinking growing up. But then entering show business at 19—well, I was a kid—but going back again to show business at 19 to be a TV host, that’s when it really hit me that, ‘Wow, being gay is really not accepted in a lot of these communities,’” Mond shares in the article.
“I wouldn’t have come out. I would’ve stayed in the closet. It was getting to a point where I was like, you know, I don’t have a backup plan yet. If I come out and this all blows up in my face, what do I do next? So, you know, everyone around me, of course, my family being very traditional—well, my dad being very traditional—it just wasn’t an option. I didn’t want to… And I didn’t wanna embarrass my father, um, I didn’t want to kinda have to deal with all of that. So, I wouldn’t have come out,” Alex confesses.
Coming Out, Loud and Proud
But both found the courage to face their truths and tell the world about this.
“As I grew older and as I matured, I realized the best thing that you can really offer your family is to be yourself. So, you know, drop the cloak, drop the act—just be yourself. And again, I’m lucky just because my family wants nothing but the best for me. They always just want me to be happy. My chosen family, um, who made it much easier to kind of realize that it’s never too late to love yourself, it’s never too late to acknowledge those feelings, and face your fears,” Mond encourages.
“Being outed kinda became a healing phase. Every day after that, it’s been like I’m learning all of these self-defense mechanisms, you know? Like, to get graphic, like drowning my woes in parties—that was like an escape mechanism that I use often but I just couldn’t deal with these unreconciled feelings,” Alex exclaims. “But as soon as I came out, it’s like, wow, I’m not like… All of a sudden, it was just easy to drop these bad habits because finally, it’s like I don’t need to be anybody for anybody but me. And yeah, it was a good feeling.”
On Sharing Your Story
So why is it important to come out, and more importantly share these stories? Because somewhere, some time, someone is going through the same process of finding themselves—being fearful of whether they will be accepted or not and wondering if they are still worthy of being loved.
More than anything, coming out stories are meant to show courage, to show strength, and to set an example to many that even if this is an unconventional life path, it doesn’t make it any less valid.
For the next generation, Mond says, “I think [that] it’s more important than ever—just because I want to be an example to the next generation who are struggling, who are feeling suppressed to take time in finding themselves and being happy with themselves. For me, sexuality is just one aspect of who you are. It doesn’t define who you are. It shouldn’t be—you know—it shouldn’t hold you back in any way.”
“I think that’s the whole thing about this whole story; is that I feel like, you know, you will be loved and no matter who you are, no matter who you love—it’s valid. You’re valid, and, you know, the people that really care about you and love you will support you no matter what,” Mond reassures.
On the other hand, Alex says, “To all the bi kids out there, keep exploring because this book is unwritten and it’s still pretty undefined. And, you know, there’s a little stigma behind it, but only you can understand where exactly to follow the spectrum. So, keep exploring and keep experimenting responsibly—with other people and with yourself.”
“And to all the LGBTQ kids out there, yo, queer is fun! It’s cool! Like, we’re awesome. So much pop culture is backed by queers, queer-created, and we’re here! Like, gosh, diversity is such a fun thing. Let’s celebrate that,” Alex exclaims.
And he’s right. They’re both right. Because as much as we celebrate other people for simply being themselves, we have every right to celebrate who we are—for simply being human.
All Eyes on G3 San Diego: Sensational Entertainment Writer and Proud Trans Woman
Seventeen Again: How My First Love Affirmed My Gender Identity
With Love and Pride: Ian and Noel Marry in Sunny Pennsylvania